You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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