Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
