They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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