That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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