Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
vagina is talking i cant
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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