I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
