I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
