My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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