hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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