I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
