we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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