I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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