yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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