belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
