I bet he comes in French.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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