I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
