I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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