11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
