i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
