Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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