I wannas sexs uuuuu
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
