Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
where are you?
Hypothermia
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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