there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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