You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
