You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
