You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
