I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
