so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
