it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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