I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
