I just saw a hot homeless man
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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