No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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