Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
