i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize