But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
