Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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