We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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