my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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