Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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