After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Farmville is her only friend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
