is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
please don't ironically join a cult
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