Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
