all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
