well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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