You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
