I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
