so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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