So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
