I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i think im in europe. pls send help
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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