PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
