Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
