I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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