He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
